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I hope makes it easier for you! Mar 23, Scott Croft Looking for a completely countercultural path to marriage? Here's how to apply God's Word to dating, finding a spouse and getting married. The system today's young men and women have inherited for finding and marrying a future spouse leaves a lot to be desired.
We often hear complaints from readers about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin they've encountered despite their best intentions. Many want to know how they can go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising their faith. At Focus on the Family, we've offered a range of resources and expert advice bringing biblical principles to bear in this area.
Some of the messages we've presented have taken the position that Christians can apply their faith in such a way that they can still work within the system they've inherited.
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Other messages have stressed that Christians need to be much more counter-cultural. Joshua Harris, for instance, has promoted a model of courtship that harkens back to a model used broadly before modern dating evolved.
People attempting to follow a courtship model within today's culture, however, often run into a lot of practical questions, such as, "What if her dad is unavailable or uninterested in being involved? Scott Croft is an elder at Capitol Hill Baptist Church where he teaches a seminar on friendship, courtship and marriage.
He is also an attorney who is used to tackling tough questions. The answers he brings may be different from anything you've heard before. The topics he's going to be dealing with are ones in which equally committed Christians have found different biblical interpretations.
Not all will agree with Scott's approach, and we invite feedback from anyone who believes there are better interpretations for the biblical passages Scott draws from.
You've done it, you're doing it, you'd like to do it, or you need to teach somebody else how to do it. In our society, dating has become something of an obsession.
It is expected to be a universal phenomenon.
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It's just something you do if you're single and of age and that age is quickly dropping in America. It is considered the natural precursor to marriage, and is generally considered something to be desired, whatever form it might take. It's also big business. If you were to Google the word "matchmaker," you would receive something in the neighborhood of 21, responses — with a few of these outfits claiming to be Christian, but most making no such claim.
As evangelical Christians, we're called to be distinct in the ways we think and act about all issues that confront us and those around us.
This topic is no exception. So is there such a thing as biblical dating? If so, what is it? How can Christians think differently about this pervasive issue in media and culture? How are we doing so far?
The answer to that last question is "not well. In fact, depending on which statistics one believes, the divorce rate for professing Christians may actually be higher than for Americans as a whole. Granted, not all of these people are evangelicals, but we're not doing so well either. Indeed, the central issue we need to confront — and the reason I write and speak on this topic — is that when it comes to dating and relationships, perhaps more than in any other area of the everyday Christian life, the church is largely indistinguishable from the world.
That truth has brought immeasurable emotional pain and other consequences to many Christians.
Worse, it has brought great dishonor to the name of Christ and to the witness of individuals and the church. It doesn't have to be this way. We have brothers and sisters in Christ to hold us accountable and to help us apply the Word to our lives. If you're a Christian, that's the biblical life you're called to.
That's what I hope this column will be about — applying God's Word to dating, finding a spouse and getting married.
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Scripture Rules I have to start by explaining the theological doctrine that drives the approach I want to outline and advocate. That doctrine is called the sufficiency of Scripture. Almost all professing evangelical Christians are familiar with and vigorously defend the doctrine of the inerrancy of Scripture which states that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God, it's true, and it contains no falsity or error.
I certainly agree with the inerrancy of Scripture, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
The doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture assumes inerrancy but then goes a step further. This doctrine simply holds that the Bible is sufficient to guide and instruct us authoritatively in all areas of our faith and life, and that there is no area of life about which the Bible has no guidance for us.
The sufficiency of Scripture is taught explicitly and implicitly in many passages, but perhaps the most obvious is 2 Timothy 3: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
So how does the sufficiency of Scripture apply to our coming discussions? Well, many evangelicals who otherwise believe in the inerrancy of the Bible and who might generally agree with the sufficiency of Scripture have nonetheless embraced the world's ideas about dating. In doing so, some make the argument that Scripture doesn't speak to this topic. I believe it does. The Bible speaks to every area of our faith and life at some level.
Some things it talks about explicitly, like salvation or sanctification or marriage or elders.
The Bible guides us in some areas by broader, more general principles and ideas we can build on as we strive to live the Christian life in practical ways.