About Us Victoria Elizabeth Barnes

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  • Leykis believes that expensive dinners, pricey gifts, elaborate flowers and the like do not increase the chances of sex. Because when you go to the ATM, it is the most common fast cash option. Three Strikes Rule-If a woman does not "put out" i. Always Use a Condom- Self explanatory, even if she's on the pill. Never rely on the woman's declaration that she's using a contraceptive. No Single Mothers- Leykis insists that some men have been ordered by the courts to pay child support to their former wives, even though they were not the biological father of her children.

    This, he asserts, financially ruins the men for many years making them unable to start a new life with another woman or enjoy the money they earn. Avoid Groups-Leykis claims that they make sure no sex happens. No Coworkers- Leykis claims dating coworkers risks being sued for sexual harassment and leads to awkward working relationships. Tom does make exception if you don't care about your job or wouldn't mind quitting or getting fired as a result of dating a coworker.

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    Cell phones- If a female answers a cell-phone call, or responds to text messages, in the middle of dinner, Leykis advises that the male should immediately get up and leave. He justifies this as follows: Leykis believes if a woman deems a student unimportant enough that she feels comfortable answering her cell phone during the date, she is not sufficiently interested in having sex with the man.

    Answering the Phone- Leykis admonishes his students against answering their telephones on weekends, giving the impression that they are busy and important people. Answering a woman's calls and generally being accessible to her is not the way to do this, he advises.

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    As justification, Leykis usually quotes what he believes is a basic rule of humanity; "we want what we can't have.

    Don't Become Poindexter- According to Leykis, a woman begins Looking for Poindexter, at the point in her life when she makes the decision to buy a house and find a man to create children with. With more thanmiles on her odometer, she runs ads on Craigslist with the one liner, I've had my fun. She's done all the hot guys, like the high school quarterback, but now she's interested in someone more stable. One thing's for sure, for the next guy it won't be fun, because from here on out it's all business, love is secondary at this point.

    Now she wants a rent payer, sperm donor, a human wallet. She's going to treat this relationship like a business decision. No Crazies- Tom has zero tolerance about anything crazy. For example if a woman hits him, or if she threatens to jump out of an open car door while the car is moving, he gives one warning.

    After that it's all over with. When you hang around with somebody like that, pretty soon you'll go over the edge. How to use this site Consider moving back to Canada: The planning steps are arranged by the amount of time you have leading up to your move. It starts 18 months before you move back.

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    Moving sooner than 18 months? Just work through all the steps to be sure you are ready. Scroll up to see links to all the time-based planning steps Canadians around the world contribute their wisdom to this site. Throughout the content you will find their insightful stories, ideas for consideration, and useful tips. Can you contribute your own? Find answers to your specific questions: Tax, real estate, health care, country-specific, FAQ's, and much more!

    Scroll up to see the links to specific topics where you will find answers to many of your questions!

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    Get professional help for your move: Yes, A real person you can trust to answer questions specific to your context, help you make sense of your options, and disolve the overwhelm of moving back so you feel clear and confident! Professional Support for your move back to Canada! Why move back to Canada?

    This question is easy for some to answer, but not so easy for others. Common reasons for moving back to Canada: Your job or contract overseas ends.

    Your employer moves you back. You are tired of living abroad and want the familiarity of Canada again. Especially when you retire. See the "Retire in Canada" page of this site!

    You want to live in the Canadian lifestyle again. You have family and friends to return to. You want to raise your children in a Canadian context. You have an elderly parent to take care of. You need access to the public health care system in Canada.

    You have just gone through a relationship breakup and want to retreat and regroup in Canada. The most common challenge in the decision making process: Sometimes, however, it is not an easy decision. The most common challenge in the decision making process about whether to return to Canada or not is this: I am fine, but they are not happy here. There is no easy solution, but one thing you can do is to use the discomfort of the situation to learn as a couple, or as a family, about what is important to you - what life is supposed to offer you and what changes you might undertake in our own thinking, beliefs, and patterns to find where you need to be in the world: Why do you really want to move back to Canada right now?

    Are you running away from something or running to something in Canada? Where should you be right now for what you need to do in your life at this time? Answering these questions in complete honesty to yourself will really help you understand what you want from life in Canada when you return. It may also help you decide if Canada is even the right place for you right now! To help you get started with your answers, here are some of the reasons people like being expatriates - why they like living away from their home country.

    What will you miss from the expatriate lifestyle? Meeting amazing people Finally being away from home Having this once-in-a-life-time experience Realizing that things can be done differently Changing ourselves - yes we can Being out of our 'comfort zone' Realizing that not everything at 'home' is perfect Learning a new language properly Showing your visitors from home around your new hometown Being a font of knowledge on your home country Knowing how to cook differently 'Teach me to Always having a conversation starter 'And where are you from?

    Linkedin, Trailing Spouse Network group, The ping-pong effect My family and I experienced a peculiar situation and I have heard from many people who have gone through it too. I call it the ping pong effect. Here is how it happens: So, you pack your bags and head off to another international assignment. As of the writing of this, friends of ours are doing exactly this, after finding that getting good work in their field in Canada is really a challenge.

    I did the "ping pong" back out after 9 months in Canada and the U. Going back overseas felt like going home. If you are not completely at peace with moving home to Canada but are making the move anyway because of the end of a contract that didn't get renewed, for example, consider a staged move back. I often advise my clients in this situation to consider a first stage of "wintering over" in Canada - a temporary move until they either find their "place" in Canada or decide to head back out again.

    Once they are clear on where they need to be next, they take another step in the return process. Don't make expensive decisions and final pronouncements unless you are really certain about moving back to Canada. Many of my clients have thanked me for this guidance! It allowed them to step through their return in a way that honoured who they were and what they needed at that time in their lives.

    Common profiles of returning Canadians Here are 5 common profiles of Canadians moving back. I have seen these from long experience working with clients and from my own time living abroad. Please note that you may be an exception -many people are. If, however, you do find one that is close to your reality, it may help you have a more successful move back to Canada by clarifying your target state of mind, lifestyle, and goals.

    This person or couple knows exactly where they are moving to in Canada, they plan the whole move well, and they get what they want. Life tends to give you what you envision if you are laser-focused and very, very clear in your mind and heart. These returnees are generally happy when the move is over and their life is settled in Canada because they created their desired perfect lifestyle.

    Hope for a better future for their children motivates this move. I have many clients returning from the U.

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    However, this also applies to families returning from all over the world, and particularly from places that are in turmoil. Families generally create a good life in Canada because they ground their move in family priorities and values, reflecting the life stage they are in.

    Life presents an opportunity and it happens to be the right time to move back to Canada. Following an opportunity back to Canada results in a staged experience: First comes excitement, then reverse culture shock, and finally, after a year or two, a new life balance in Canada.

    Individuals and families both experience symptoms of adjustment.

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    What helps this group? A ton of careful consideration, planning, and personal support for themselves and each other after they arrive. This individual or couple makes life happen through a combination of planning well, listening to their intuition, trusting things will work out, and being open to new experiences in a cheerful manner.

    This is more a "non-linear" return path, but results in a life that delights them. Overall, this group is happiest in Canada the soonest, because their cheerful "take-life-as-it-comes" attitude allows them to figure things out, find great people to connect with, adapt and grow personally, and create an meaningful life here. I bet this group would create an amazing life wherever they went! Pushing away from something defines this group. Fear for their safety where they are, a divorce, a lost job, death of a spouse, etc.

    This group sees Canada as "safe haven" and a place to retreat, rest, heal, and re-build their lives. Happiness for this group takes time as their move is not really about Canada, but about ending one phase of their life and starting another.

    I honour the decision people make to return to Canada when faced with real challenges in life. Canada is a great country to pause, re-group, and prepare for the next steps in life. Please share your thoughts on these profiles and your reason for moving back to help make this resource better! Stories from your fellow Canadians: I am a Canadian living in Australia since with my Australian husband. I constantly want to move back "home" to be close to my four adult children, and my mother who is We are in our 60s now and seriously trying to work out how best to move there, especially worried about what to bring, what to leave, will we like it, how to sever ties here and get new ones there.

    I never realised I would need forms to return to Canada, and the forms to apply to sponser my husband are daunting! It requires my salary amount, and of course I would not have created a salary again in Canada until after I get there. Reading your site has been thought provoking and even though it has opened a whole can of worms, it is lucky that I have found your site, thank you for being there! I love Australia actually, and am totally nervous about moving back to the cold and rat race from our pristine forested land of 20 acres purchased for less than a city lot in Canada where we have just built a brand new house, with our own hands.

    We also have a very spoiled cat that we adore and who we are afraid won't survive physically or mentally being thrown in a cargo bay of a noisy airline. It won't help me now, but my biggest tip is never go out of your way to get romantically involved with someone who lives in another country!

    One of you must always ive up their way of life, you just can't be in two places at one time, sadly. If there is a way to do that, I would love to know how! Read More Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your experience and suggestion! Planning to move back to Canada to retire?

    Check out the "Retiring in Canada" resource page! I want to thank you for this invaluable site! I am determining whether or not I should return back to Canada.

    After the initial vacation period overseas, I am finding myself without employment and missing my family. My husband however, has a job and direction and is really enjoying not having to work in the harsh Canadian climate. I can honestly say it has been the most difficult time in my marriage. Living overseas has pushed to the forefront what each of us truly values in life: It is an obvious question to ask, "Why do I want to move back to Canada?

    Moving becomes a question of, What do I want to give up? Is this need to move back based on reality or what is being experienced in the immediate situation?

    Back to why I am sending this. Thank you also to the contributors for sharing their experiences and pointing out various aspects of their move. Read More Thank you, Tammy, for sharing your experience! The following story was shared with me by a Canadian who moved back recently. Due to the personal nature of this story, her name has been withheld at her request and identifying details modified to protect her family's privacy.

    Our children only knew the American elementary school system; I knew I wanted our children to be back in the Canadian School system and have the choice to enter the French immersion program. But my husband did not want to approach his Company about the move because we had just received a visa extension when I presented the issue of moving back.

    My husband did not want to rock the boat with the Company because we would have one more year left on the visa and that was the agreement with his boss. Also, a huge issue would be the time difference between the offices. I was certain that the time was going to be in the summer and consistently told my husband we needed to make the move for the sake of the children. I reminded him that we had moved there for his sake his career and now it was time to make the move back for the kids sake I kept telling my husband how important it is for the boys to develop new friendships that they could carry into their adulthoods back in Canada.

    It was important too that we knew we would keep in touch with the friends we had made in the states too. We feel blessed with the rich friendship experience. When it became clear to me that my husband was in denial about how serious I was about moving back I insisted we have the discussion together.

    I basically told him I would go with the kids in the summer and we could set him up in a little apartment there - we could support his job that way And I was serious. I think it was my strong foot down that finally made it clear to him that it was going to happen whether he was ready for it or not.

    So he got the nerve to tell his Company and it ended up being absolutely okay. Now that we are back in BC, my husband spontaneously hugs me and says thank you for getting us back home!!!! AND the kids love their new school and are making friends easily and are keeping in touch with all their friends in the US! Read More These stories are indicative of the difficult decisions that dozens of families I have worked with faced when deciding whether to return to Canada or not.

    In all cases, there has been no "right" or "wrong" choice. Only one that helped each family move forward or one that held them back from the natural change, growth, and happiness they wanted. Where do you need to be to help your family move forward? And here is one more story, shared by E. Cernakova in on the challenges of being back in Canada.

    Personal information has been replaced with I moved to the GTA in September, after discovering that finding a job in the Ottawa Capital region was challenging, given my overseas work experience in the past 5 years. Getting security clearance was not an easy process, so I chose to return to the GTA where I had more contacts Early November I was hired It's kind of a "survival" job for now, which has allowed me to get settled in a shared flat shocking what is happening with gentrification throughout the GTA and extreme rents and slowly start to feel more settled in.

    I am fortunate, and count my blessings with a great boss and a job that isn't too taxing and just covers the essential: It's extremely challenging to be back here, with such high living expenses. But I am highly skilled, and believe I will be successful in finding opportunities to increase my overall income So I consider myself to still be "transitioning" back to life here in Canada.

    For expats like myself who were overseas alone one income and had debts to settle while overseas, it's not an easy thing to return with minimum savings. Sometimes we just have to leave - and I don't regret coming back to the GTA when I did as I have to continue working for at least years; I felt I had to get back into the Canadian workforce. My advice to all my friends still overseas, especially those who are older than I am and much closer to retirement, is to stay put and make as much money as they can where they are.

    Incomes have not kept up to par with the cost of living. I feel as if some companies think they are still operating in the s! There are days when I think: Starting 18 months ahead of your return to Canada Make sure everyone in your family is legally allowed to live and work in Canada Sponsor your spouse to become a Canadian Permanent Resident. Many Canadians marry abroad.

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    This means their spouse can live, work, and access health care in Canada. At the time of the writing of this, the processing time for sponsoring spouses was 12 months. This is the time you have to wait after you apply. There is lots of work to be done to prepare the application, which is why this step is noted to begin at 18 months before your target return date.

    If you have children born abroad to you, a Canadian citizen, your children are automatically Canadian citizens. However, you must get the Canadian government to recognize this.

    The process can take some time. Get this done now. And at the same time, you can apply for their passports. Why get their passports at the same time? Because as dual-citizens they will need a passport to come into Canada. And their passports will be useful as a form of primary identification when they register for health care and schooling in Canada.

    Planning on buying real estate in Canada? If you plan on buying real estate in Canada for when you move back, this is the time to begin exploring where you want to live and the state of the real estate in that area.

    The following section will takes this a step further Create an up-to-date Last Will and Testament Things happen. Having a current will that will cover you before, during, and after your return to Canada is simply wise. I have partnered with Canadian Legal Wills to offer you an easy, inexpensive online will creation tool, regardless of where you are in the world and where you will be moving back to in Canada: Preparations you can do ahead of time: Starting 1 year ahead of your return to Canada Decide where you wish to settle in Canada.

    If you already own a home in Canada, have a job to come back to, or wish to live near relatives in Canada, then this decision may be a moot point for you. If, however, you are not set on a province, city, or region to go to when you move back, the question of where to settle in Canada becomes a very important one.

    Because you have changed in your overseas experience. You may find most Canadians charmingly provincial at first. The charm wears off fast.

    Soon you may find yourselves wondering when you can go back overseas to be with more worldly folks. It won't take long to feel this way! Many people have noted this same feeling to me over the years. To help make the transition easier, consider what your values, interests, and goals are.

    Then choose cities and regions of Canada that fit these and that suit your family: If you feel that you want a liberal, worldly social group for exampleconsider Ottawa, Montreal, Vancouver, Toronto, etc.

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    If you wish for a more conservative social context, consider London, ON, or a smaller center in a more traditionally-thinking region. If you want nature and outdoors activities, BC tops the list of course, I am biased because I live there!

    The most important thing to remember is that you are different. You probably no longer fit into your old life in Canada! You will have to create a new fit. Prepare ahead and you will thank yourself later when you more easily navigate the "reverse culture shock" all Canadians experience when they return.

    Jobs and careers are an important consideration for some returning Canadians. If getting a job is a very high priority for you, then some simple homework will tell you where the best job markets are in Canada for your skill-set and experience. In general, Toronto is almost always a good place to find work as it is so large. British Columbia is also booming: Finally, Montreal has some great work opportunities in specific sectors, particularly if you are bi-lingual.

    See our Career section for much more on returning to Canada and getting a job here. I cannot stress enough the number of job opportunities that are available in technology: Software, automation, robotics, AI, data mining, computer graphics, etc. Canada is transforming economically from being primarily "hewers of wood and drawers of water" to something quite different: A country who derives much of its wealth from very high value work.

    If you are employed in one of these fields you likely already know this. If you are not in one of these fields and have the opportunity to explore tech and tech-related jobs and careers? They are the future. Buy a residence ahead of time if you can afford to Owning a house may jeopardize your non-resident status with the CRA Canada Revenue Agency if it appears you are "living" there.

    This would be yucky if you have been enjoying lower or non-existent taxes in your off-shore country! So, rent it out at arms-length not to a family memberset it up as a "vacation property", or keep it fully empty as an "investment" to ensure you are not deemed resident in Canada. Buy a house in December or January: The best time for buyers.

    You can quite often get a great deal. Having a house ready for you and your family when you arrive means you can get excited about where you are going to be living in Canada. You will have a mailing address for forwarding your mail when you return.

    You will have a place to send your household goods when you move back. And you will have a place for your family to land when you arrive lower costs - see finances below.

    All very helpful logistical details. DON'T buy a house if you are unsure of where is the best place in Canada for you to settle.

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    Rent one instead, giving yourself the freedom to figure out what feels best. Sometimes "what comes next" in life is not perfectly clear and we have to wait until it does become clear. If you are in such a situation, don't buy a home now. Rent instead which of course typically can't take place until you get back to Canada. See the Buying Real Estate in Canada resource page for a deep dive into the process of buying real estate in Canada for your move back or as an investment for the future if you don't plan to return to Canada for a while.

    Roanna Stevens, on finding a place to live: I think for us one of the most difficult things has been finding appropriate housing for our family. One thing that I am glad someone told us was that we should look at getting "transitional" housing rather than signing a one-year lease. This proved to be great advice! Since we had a time frame in which we had to find a place to live, we ended up in a basement suite in Burnaby on a month-to-month lease.

    The location was great However, it did give us time to start looking around and to determine what area would be best for us to live in. It was also SO much easier to look for a place when we were already in the general area.

    I had been doing the Craigslist thing from Bangkok but, in a city like Vancouver, you really need to jump on housing when it shows up. If it's a good place, it won't be available for very long. Eventually, we found a great place, at a fair price in an area we felt suited us. Read More Thank you, Roanna, for sharing your experience!

    If you wish to leave money off-shore, prepare for that now. Open appropriate accounts, make appropriate investments, choose your money's geographic domicile. Often it makes sense to talk to a few different people who do this - other long-time expatriates, a professional financial adviser who handles international banking and investments, an international tax accountant, etc. Keeping clear track of your finances while overseas and when returning is recommended, particularly if you have to account for your income as a salesperson, a small business owner, or as an independent contractor.

    Canada is expensive if you have to live in short-term accommodations, rent a car, eat out a lot, etc. Budget for thousand dollars a month yes, a month for a typical family to live in short-term furnished accommodations, rent a car, eat at restaurants, and buy things needed for your new life.

    The sooner you can get settled in your own accommodation and buy a car, the sooner you will stop the hemorrhaging of your bank account. Assume that it will take a minimum of 2 months to get settled and 4 months to get really settled.

    Staying with family members sounds like a good idea, but if your family has enlarged, or if your kids have gotten a lot older in the years overseas, staying with family will get very difficult very fast. Your parents have gotten a lot older during your years overseas. Your other family members think you are rich because you had an expat lifestyle. They won't be happy with you camping in their basement. After all, since you are rich, why don't you just stay in a hotel?

    Don't mess up your early exciting experience in Canada: Stay in your own separate, private accommodations when you arrive back. You will thank yourself later and so will your family members!

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    Also, get people to get an address asap and internet as we needed an address to get access to school, ohip, etc. I also had a dormant RBC bank account that I reactivated and started using my debit card on.

    After 2 months of spending like crazy, I realized I racked up over dollars in bank charges. Get onto a bank account that allows unlimited transactions!! The price of a used car was clearly more than I had budgeted for. Had I realized that, I would have shopped for this a year before I moved back.

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    One pleasant surprise was that groceries were cheaper and fresher than what I was used to in Florida! So glad to be back home. If you have been out of Canada for many years and have severed all important ties per CRA stipulations to ensure non-residencyyou have little or no current credit history.

    Be ready to face the following: You will not have a current credit history. Banks and credit unions may tell you "Oh, no credit history is OK. At least it is not negative! A lack of recent Canadian credit history is the same or worse than negative credit. You have not been "in the system", and therefore, you are an unknown variable.

    As such, are a risk. You may be denied loans, mortgages, and credit cards. And with all the identity theft going on, even more reason to say "no! The Canadian financial lending system is based on lending against income earnings through provable normal sounding employers - and not against you or your assets. There is a burgeoning mortgage market for non-traditional, exceptional folks like you!

    The key person in this market is the mortgage broker, who is a very useful person to get to know. If you are planning on getting a mortgage when you arrive back in Canada, find a good mortgage broker.

    Skip banks and credit unions completely. Good mortgage brokers can get you a mortgage anywhere in the province you are in, so they don't need to be in exact location where you are.

    I know of one in BC who is called "the mortgage whisperer". She arranged a fabulous mortgage in Victoria with a financial institution located in a completely different part of the province!

    A newer set of credit card options have emerged, with good news for returning Canadians. CIBC, for example, offers "Newcomer" and "secured" credit card options. These allow you to quickly get a credit card, which is an essential tool for getting things done in Canada online, for travel bookings, and for securing rentals: I phoned them and after hearing that newcomers excludes returning Canadians, asked them how this group can access RBC services.

    They were clear that services for returning Canadians are handled at the branch level and credit would be offered only at "branch discretion". Further "branch managers would have to go above and beyond to research returning Canadian credit and try to get credit history from the other country.